


Spring Returning

by Enjolchilles



Category: Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: Gen, Poetry, Songfic, Unconventional Format, sort of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2018-12-06 13:44:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 2,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11601849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enjolchilles/pseuds/Enjolchilles
Summary: A poem based off every Spring Awakening song-warnings apply the same as they do in the musical itself





	1. Mama Who Bore Me

_mama bore me_

Wendla locked eyes with her reflection in the mirror

 

_mama who gave me_

 

Her hair was just a bit past her shoulders

 

_no way to handle things_

She was wearing her favorite childhood dress

 

_who made me so sad_

 

The dress was faded and too tight

It hugged parts of her she hadn’t had as a child

It suffocated her yet it brought bliss

 

_mama the weeping_

Her eyes filled with tears

 

_mama the angels_

She wiped them away

 

_no sleep in heaven_

 

Her mother walked in

 

_or Bethlehem_


	2. Mama Who Bore Me (Reprise)

_mama who bore me_

 

Her mother was not pleased

 

_mama who gave me_

 

“Take that silly dress off” she said sternly

 

_mama the angels_

 

Wendla looked frightened “But I like it mama”

 

_who made me so sad_

 

“What about your new dress?” her mother asked

 

_mama the weeping_

 

“It doesn’t make me feel like this one does”

Wendla turned to her reflection

“When I wear this dress… I feel… I feel like…”

 

_mama the angels_

 

“Like a fairy princess” she finished

 

_no sleep in heaven_

 

Seeing Wendla’s happiness her mother softened “Well I suppose a while longer could not hurt”

 

_or Bethlehem_


	3. All That's Known

_litora, multum ille et terris iactatus et alto_   
_vi superum, saevae memorem Iunonis ob iram_   
_multa quoque et bello passus, dum conderet urbem_   
_arma virumque cano, Troiae qui primus ab oris_   
_italiam fato profugus Laviniaque venit_

 

the young boys muttered their Latin as if they were puppets

 

the words slurred together

 

they were unrecognizable

 

Melchior wondered what this all was for

 

they learned Latin to read

 

to read the bible

 

this disgusted him

 

he had to waste his mind on things he could never believe

 

he questioned things and his professor shut him down

 

he thought for himself and was scolded

 

his friends were brainwashed

 

they couldn’t see the faults in this system

 

they just let themselves be controlled

 

but not for long

 

Melchior had plans to stop it

 

to expose the greed of education

 

all will know

 

all will see

 

and one day this will end

 

this charade will come to a stop

 

he’ll be freed

one day all will know


	4. The Bitch Of Living

an angel spoke to Moritz

 

he heard her voice through the wall

 

but she would not come to him

 

not yet

 

she said in time

 

she came to all

 

bringing aching desire

 

she would relieve you of all in the world

 

she would transport your mind

 

and your soul

 

and now after going through everyone

 

she finally came to visit him

 

he didn't know what to do

 

she was holding him tight

 

and now that he was in her grasp

 

she wouldn't let go

 

god what a bitch


	5. My Junk

The schoolgirls gather around

 

Talking in playful hushed tones

 

They bring up the boys in school

 

They talk about Melchior

 

How he’s mysterious

 

How he believes in nothing

 

They speak about him all the time

 

They get caught up in their thoughts

 

Thoughts that took their breathe away

 

_I lie back, just driftin'_   
_and play out these scenes_   
_I ride on the rush_   
_All the hopes, all the dreams_   


They giggle at how silly their conversation is

 

At the foolishness of each other

 

For now these thoughts seem distant

 

For now

 

_I may be neglectin'_

_the things I should do_ _  
We've all got our junk,_

_and my junk is you_

 


	6. Touch Me

_Where I go when I go there_

 

Moritz tells Melchior about his dreams

 

_No more shadows anymore_

 

About the angel who speaks to him

 

_Only men with golden fins_

Moritz is worried

 

_The rhythm in them, rocking with them to shore_

 

Moritz is on the verge of tears

 

_Where I go when I go there_

 

Moritz hasn’t slept in days

 

_No more weeping anymore_

 

All Melchior does is laugh at him

 

_Only in and out your lips_

 

That just makes Moritz more anxious

 

_The broken wishes washing with them to shore_

 

Melchior Explains to Moritz what he is feeling

 

_Touch me_

 

That Moritz isn’t the only one feeling it

 

_All silent_

 

That these thoughts

 

_Tell me please_

 

These dreams

 

_All is forgiven_

 

Are normal

 

_Consume my wine_

 

Are common

 

_Consume my mind_

 

That they wont kill him

 

_I’ll tell you how_

 

But Moritz isn’t convinced

 

_How the winds sigh_

 

Melchior explains it to Moritz

 

_Just try it_

 

What these thoughts were

 

_Now there that’s it_

 

Melchior wrote it all down

 

_Oh god that’s heaven_

 

The bodies

 

_Oh I’ll love you right_

 

The actions

 

_We’ll wonder down where the sins cry_

 

The words

 

_Where the sins cry_

 

It wasn’t till Melchior and Moritz were crammed at Melchior’s small bedroom desk talking that Moritz finally understood


	7. The Word Of Your Body

Wendla picks flowers

 

Wendla goes to church

 

Wendla helps the poor

 

Wendla believes in all

 

_Just too unreal all this_

Melchior sits in the dark

 

Melchior sits alone

 

Melchior questions authority

 

Melchior believes in nothing

 

_Watching the words fall from my lips_

Wendla is beautiful

 

Wendla is innocent

 

_Baiting some girl with hypotheses_

Melchior is handsome

 

Melchior is educated

 

_Haven’t you heard the word of my wanting_

Melchior knows just what he wants

 

_Oh, I’m gonna be wounded_

Wendla doesn’t understand what she wants

 

_Oh, I’m gonna be your wound_

They will hurt each other

 

_Oh, I’m gonna bruise you_

They will be hurt

 

_Oh, you’re gonna be my bruise_


	8. The Dark I Know Well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In "Spring Awakening" the characters Martha and Ilse are both sexually abused by their fathers.   
> This chapter, while not being explicit, is about that incestuous non consensual relationship.  
> The writing does not go any further than the actual song does.   
> Please do not read this chapter if you think you will be too uncomfortable.

**Martha-**

My father tells me it’s time for bed

 

My father pats my head and calls me child

 

My father smiles at me

 

My father smiles at my mother

 

My mother smiles back

 

My mother smiles as if she doesn’t know

 

 

 

I go to my room

 

I go to my room and wait

 

I hear his footsteps coming closer and closer

 

My father kisses my forehead

 

His hand lies on my thigh

 

 

 

Behind closed doors my father whispers to me

 

Behind closed doors my father compliments me

 

Behind closed doors my father touches me

 

Behind closed doors my father loves me

 

Something he doesn’t do any other time

 

 

_There is a part I can’t tell_

_About the dark I know well_

**Ilse-**

I talk

 

I sing

 

I laugh

 

But when you’re here I fall silent

 

I know it isn’t right

 

I know it should stop

 

Yet I cant bring myself to say a word

 

 

 

You and I

 

Alone

 

Nobody knows

 

Nobody knows you think of me

 

Nobody knows what you do with me

 

Nobody knows that you only smile when we are here

 

Alone

 

When you are here

 

And I am here

 

And you think I’m yours

 

 

_There is a part I can’t tell_

_About the dark I know well_


	9. And Then There Were None

_Failure_

These words stung Moritz

 

_Failure_

Nobody wants to hear that word

 

_Failure_

Especially not on his final exam

 

His father will be angry

 

Yet again Moritz will be a disappointment

 

He’d rather flee

 

He’d rather go to America

 

Restart his life

 

He’d rather never see his father again

 

Then be known as his father’s embarrassment

 

Moritz starts to think

 

Moritz gets too into his head

 

Everyday goes on

 

Everyday gets worse

 

Until the end

 

Perhaps the end could come sooner

 

Then there would be no more days to get through

 

_And then there were none_

_And then there were none_

_And then there were none_


	10. The Mirror-Blue Night

It’s raining

 

And Melchior is in the hayloft

 

When he’s here no one else is

 

Nothing else is

 

_No more lips, No more tongues, No more ears, No more eyes_

Melchior closes his eyes

 

Melchior shuts off his mind

 

All he can hear is the rain

 

All he can see is the angel

 

_The naked blue angel, who peers through the blinds_

He is awakened by his thoughts

 

_Disappear in the gloom of the mirror blue night_

Maybe Melchior knows too much

 

No matter where he goes his mind follows

 

It doesn’t let him go

 

It doesn’t stop

 

Or let him go

 

_But there's nowhere to hide from these bones, from my mind_

_  
It's broken inside- I'm a man and a child_

_I’m at home with a ghost, who got left in the cold_

_I’m locked out of peace, with no keys to my soul_

 

Melchior puts his hand on his hip

 

Melchior puts his hand on his chest

 

_The minute you do it with fingers so blind_

Melchior unbuckles his belt

 

Melchior loosens his tie

 

_You remove every bit from the blue of your mind_


	11. I Believe

Wendla is looking into Melchior’s eyes

 

Melchior stares back

 

Then Melchior kisses her

 

_I believe_

_I believe_

_I believe_

_Oh I believe_

_All will be forgiven_

Wendla pulls back

 

Kissing is only for people in love

 

Wendla should not be kissing

 

_I believe_

_I believe_

_I believe_

_Oh I believe_

_There is love in heaven_

Melchior grabs her hand and places it on his heart

 

He places his own hand on her heart

 

“Do you feel that” he asks

 

It’s beating so quickly

 

“Do you feel something” he asks again

 

“It’s wrong” Wendla replies

 

“But you feel it don’t you”

 

_Peace and joy be with them_

_Harmony and wisdom_

_Peace and joy be with them_

_Harmony and wisdom_

Melchior kisses her again

 

He lays her down on the hay

 

_There is love in heaven_

_All will be forgiven_

_There is love in heaven_

_All will be forgiven_

Melchior unbuttons her shirt

 

Melchior unbuttons his pants

 

_Oh I believe_


	12. The Guilty Ones

**Wendla-**

_Something started crazy_

_Sweet and unknown_

_Something you keep_

_In a box on the street_

_Now it’s longing for a home_

Why did she let it happen

 

Why did she let it happen again

 

And again

 

And again

 

_And who can say what dreams are_

It didn’t feel real

 

It didn’t feel right

 

But it was so new

 

So different

 

And Wendla was so curious

 

_And who can say what we are_

It mad her feel alive

 

Melchior made her feel mature

 

He made her feel important

 

If only she knew how much trouble this would lead to

 

_And now our bodies are the guilty ones_

_Who touch_

_And colour the hours_

_Night wont breathe_

_Oh how we_

_Fall into silence from the sky_

_And whisper some silver reply_

**Melchior-**

_Pulse is gone and racing_

_All fits and starts_

_Window by window_

_You try to look into_

_This brave new you that you are_

He caved in

 

He did something he couldn’t take back

 

_Wake me in time to be out in the cold_

It keeps happening

 

They didn’t stop

 

Melchior loved it

 

Melchior felt in control

 

_This is the reason for dreaming_

He kept using her

 

He kept making them both feel good

 

Yet guilty

 

If only he knew how much trouble this would lead to

 

_And now our bodies are the guilty ones_

_Our touch_

_Will fill every hour_

_Huge and dark oh our hearts_

_Will murmur the blues from on high_

_Then whisper some silver reply_


	13. Don't Do Sadness/Blue Wind

**Moritz-**

A butterfly lands on a leaf

 

How great would it be to be a butterfly

 

Gliding around

 

No thoughts to worry about

 

The wind blows

 

How great would it be to be wind

 

Blow away once

 

And then again and again

 

Wind doesn’t feel pain

 

So why should Moritz

 

_Cause you know I don’t do sadness_

_Not even a little bit_

_Just don’t need it in my life_

_Don’t want any part of it_

_I don’t do sadness_

_Hey, I’ve done my time_

_Looking back on it all_

_Man, it blows my mind_

_I don’t do sadness_

_So been there_

_Don’t do sadness_

_Just don’t care_

**Ilse-**

Everyday the wind blows

 

No matter the season

 

Over and over

 

The same thing always

 

How sad would it be to be wind

 

Stuck in a never ending loop

 

Always expected to do the same thing

 

People expect too much

 

_Spring and summer every other day_

_Blue wind gets so lost_

_Bowing through the thick corn_

_Through the bales of hey_

_Through the wondering clouds of dust_

_Spring and summer_

**Ilse walks back alone**

**Moritz grabs a gun**


	14. Left Behind

Moritz was gone

 

Here they were mourning him

 

Melchior notices Moritz’s parents holding each other

 

His mother looked down at her son’s lifeless body

 

She wept harder

 

_All things he never did are left behind_

_All the things his mama wished he’d bear in mind_

_And all his dad ever hoped he’d know_

Moritz’s father was heartbroken

 

He didn’t love his son until he was gone

 

His father watched Moritz grow worse every day

 

He stood and watched it happen

 

_All the talks you never had_

_The Saturdays you never spent_

_All the grown up places you never went_

_And all of the crying you wouldn’t understand_

_You just let him cry_

_Make a man out of him_

His mother wonders where she went wrong

 

His father acts as if he doesn’t know

 

_All things he ever lived are left behind_

_All the fears that ever flickered through his mind_

_All the sadness that he’d come to own_

His father breaks down in sobs

 

_A shadow passed_

_A shadow passed_

_Yearning_

_Yearning_

_For the fool_

_It called a home_


	15. Totally Fucked

The teachers walk up to Melchior

 

They apologize for his loss

 

Then they pull out some papers

 

Melchior doesn’t recognize them

 

“Do these belong to you Mr. Gabor?”

 

Melchior looks closer

 

The papers are completely covered

 

Every inch with drawings and words

 

These were the papers he gave to Moritz

 

_There’s a moment you know_

_You’re fucked_

_Not an inch more room_

_To self destruct_

_No more moves oh yeah_

_The deadened tone_

_Man you just cant call_

_Your soul your own_

Melchior smirked

 

He remembers writing all this

 

He remembers giving them to Moritz

 

“Did you write this?”

 

_Disappear yeah well_

_You wanna try_

_Wanna bundle up_

_Into some big ass lie_

_Long enough for them_

_To all just quit_

_Long enough for you_

_To get out of it_

His teachers were losing their patience

 

Their faces were bright red

 

“One last time. Melchior Gabor, did you write this!”

 

Silence

 

“YES”

 

_Yeah you’re fucked all right_

_And all for spite_

_You can kiss your sorry ass goodbye_

_You’re totally fucked_

_Will they mess you up_

_Well you know they’re gonna try_

_Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah_

_Blah blah blah blah blah_

_Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah_

_Blah blah blah blah blah_

****

_Totally fucked_


	16. The Word of Your Body (reprise)

Hanschen’s hand touched Ernst’s cheek

 

A kiss

 

 

_Come, cream away the bliss_

 

 

Forbidden

 

 

_Travel the world within my lips_

 

 

Dirty

 

 

_Fondle the pearl of your distant dreams_

 

That is what Ernst has heard about this before

 

 

_Haven’t you heard the word of your body’_ __  
  
  


 

“On my way here this afternoon I thought perhaps we would only talk”

_O, you’re gonna be wounded_

 

 

“So are you sorry we-”

 

 

_O, you’re gonna be my wound_

 

 

“No, I love you Hanschen, as I have never loved anyone.”

 

 

_O, you’re gonna bruise too_

 

 

“As you should”

 

 

_O, I’m gonna be your bruise_

 

 

One day they would look back on this moment

 

And laugh


	17. Whispering

Wendla placed her hand over her stomach

 

So this is what it all meant

 

This is the reason for her mothers silence on the subject

 

But she just couldn’t help herself

 

She had to know

 

So she found out in the worst way possible

  
  


She grew light headed

 

Swirls of blue and white surrounded her

 

She felt sick

 

If only father could see her now

 

_ Such a shame _

_ Such a sin _

 

She was home alone

 

Tomorrow all the girls would question

 

Where is our dear Wendla?

 

Little they know, little they see

 

_ Had a sweetheart on his knees _

_ So faithful and adoring _

_ And he touched me _

_ And I let him love me _

_ So let that be my story _

 

She swore she heard voices

 

What had she done? God what had she done

  
  



End file.
